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  Flakes of gold spread through Sal's eyes as if a paintbrush had dripped into a big puddle of gold leaf paint and a windstorm had picked the splashes of color up to toss them around. That same feeling of smallness and helplessness that I'd felt in Chanter's shop started to creep up on me but, no matter how hard I pushed at it, it wouldn't go away. A memory spun in my brain and my eyes ached to look away, though I couldn't. However he'd managed to grab my attention, he held it and wasn't letting go.

  “First of all, you can stop calling us 'you people.'” His voice was steady and smooth, without a trace of the anger that I somehow knew was building beneath the surface. “No matter how well-intentioned phrases like that are, they're still unfair generalizations. You can't group me with the fae and the vampires. We're too different for you to reduce like that, and it's offensive. Stop it.”

  He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened them again, the coloring of his irises had returned to normal. “Second, I am trying to help you. You want something around here, you can't hint at what you want and expect someone to give it to you. Ask. Be specific. Otherwise, the first fae you stumble on is going to rob you of everything you got and swindle you into taking out a loan to buy it back. Besides, sometimes, it's nice to be asked straight up. That's all.”

  I blinked and quickly averted my eyes before he could ensnare me again with whatever magick he was using. “Fine,” I grumbled. “Can you please take us to the store so that we can buy some groceries?”

  “See? Was that so hard?”

  I hazarded a glance back, but only because the tone in his voice told me he was smiling.

  I didn't say anything. I got into the truck and fumed all the way to the grocery store.

  Chapter Nine

  During our shopping trip, Sal invited us over for dinner. He dropped heavy hints that he'd be willing to talk about Elias afterward. Otherwise, I wouldn't have accepted. Sal had a flirtatious side, and I couldn’t tell whether he was that way with everyone or if it was just me. Either way, the advances weren’t welcome. Having Hunter there would make things less awkward, so I was relieved when it became clear that both of us were invited.

  Sal took us straight back to his trailer and let us put Hunter's ice cream and all my cold stuff in his fridge. The trailer was nice on the inside, even though the deck was falling off out back. It was a three-bedroom, two-bath model with a surprising amount of space and upscale décor, though most of that was packed away in boxes. There were a few nice plates in the sink, shattered to pieces. I let Hunter take over putting our groceries, still in their bags, into the fridge.

  “You moving?” I asked Sal, who had busied himself picking up some open containers in the living room.

  “Not if I can help it.”

  I waited for him to elaborate. When he didn't, I decided to push. “What's that mean?”

  Sal made a dismissive gesture. “Divorce. All this crap is hers.”

  “That the woman who was here earlier?” I asked.

  He nodded. “I'd give her the shirt off my back to go the hell away, but she insists it's difficult to move all this shit through Customs. It's been almost a year. It's fucking Canada. How tough can a border patrol run by Mounties really be?” He took a deep breath and shook his head. “Sorry. It's been a long day.”

  “Sal, if you're going to ask me to help you out, I don't deal with family law.”

  “No.” He dismissed the idea with a wave of his hand and went to the fridge, moving aside our bags to dig out a carton of organic milk. He dumped some into a bowl without measuring it and then went about pulling down flour, salt, and baking powder. Hunter came over and asked to use the bathroom, so Sal gave him some directions before he went back to mixing up his recipe.

  Sal was quiet for a while, until after he had a dough mixture made up and needed to go wash his hands. He stared at the doughy bits as they went down the drain. “What I want has nothing to do with my messed-up life. It's about Chanter. I told you he called me. It wasn't just to give me an update on the situation with Elias. He told me to keep an eye on my neighbor's son with the full moon approaching.” He turned around, wiping his hands clean on a towel. “I know you're not one of us. Was his father?”

  I really didn't want to talk about that, not with him, but it didn't seem like these werewolves were going to let it go. Of course, if they were right, they might have a good reason to be so upset. I'd moved another male werewolf into their territory. Even with what little I knew about werewolves, I knew that was bound to cause tension.

  “Hunter doesn't know,” I found myself blurting out. “He can't know.”

  Sal pulled out a chair and plopped into it, throwing one arm over the back. “You're on a reservation. No one's going to think less of you if your son is one of us. In fact, I think it could help you. It's not going to hurt him to get the help and guidance he needs. Pretty soon, it's going to be too late. He's going to change. No amount of denial on your part is going to prevent that.”

  “I know,” I whispered and sank into the chair across from him. “But he's my son. I can't lose him.” It felt like my heart was about to fall out of my mouth, so I clenched my jaw tight and looked up. “Anyway, I don't see how this has any bearing on the info you wanted to give me.”

  “Elias was a lone wolf,” he said. Then, he turned his head and stood quickly as Hunter strode back into the room.

  “That bathroom is huge. I mean, for a trailer bathroom.” Hunter glanced around. “So, is it just you here? This is an awful lot of space for one guy. It would creep me out to be in here all by myself at night.”

  Sal smiled but, beneath the surface of the smile, I saw an old wound surface. It was there and gone in the blink of an eye, and the smile turned genuine. “You play basketball, kid?”

  “Never stayed in one place long enough to join a team or anything, but this one place in Pennsylvania had a big hoop outside. I got pretty good that summer.”

  Sal went back into a room on the opposite side of the house from where he'd sent Hunter for the bathroom. When he came back, it was with a basketball. He bounced it once on the kitchen floor and then passed it to Hunter. “There's a bit of blacktop and a hoop on the other side of the house. Mind the motorcycle. You bump it, you buy it, and it's one of a kind.”

  Hunter's eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. “You have a motorcycle?”

  “That's right. It was my father's, and he's not around anymore, so don't bump it or anything.”

  Hunter nodded and then went outside to shoot some hoops.

  “You know he's going to touch it just because you told him not to, right?”

  “Eh, he can't do any harm,” Sal said, going to the fridge to pull out some vegetables. I didn't bother telling him that Hunter probably wouldn't touch them, no matter how he cooked them. Rule number one about kids: they don't like vegetables, not even if you deep fry them and slather them in cheese.

  “So,” I said after clearing my throat. “Elias.”

  “I'm sure you heard about his troubles. Being homeless, on drugs, and such. Everyone knew that. Most people didn't bother to get to know the man behind the trouble. He was a good guy, really. He just...”

  Sal sighed as he finished chopping the vegetables and dumped them into a stockpot. “Pack dynamics are hard. I don't know what you know about us, but we've all got a place. There are protocols. Rules. For someone like Elias, social stuff like that is hard in a human setting. Oh, he got what it meant to be the wolf, the predator. What he didn't get was why a strong wolf sometimes bows to a weaker one or the benefits of taking on a submissive posture sometimes. He was a beta wolf trying to be an alpha, and it didn't work out for him. Alone, in a situation where he was clearly the lesser wolf, he relaxed, but when he was with others in the pack who were close to him in terms of strength or speed, the predator came out. I was dominant enough that Elias and I got along. He'd stay here sometimes when he and Valentino had it out.”

  Sal pulled a large chunk of red meat out of the
oven and started seasoning it before chopping it into bits and tossing it in with the vegetables.

  “More importantly,” Sal continued, “Elias had trouble shifting. That made things even worse on him.”

  “Trouble shifting? Like what kind of trouble?”

  Sal nodded. “I take it you’ve never seen it before.”

  I shook my head.

  Sal turned and put his back to the stove for a moment, leaning on it. “We believe in two distinct but connected beings, housed in the same shell.”

  “You believe?” I raised an eyebrow. I hadn’t realized this was going to turn into a theological discussion.

  “Sure,” he said, shrugging. “Different packs have different ideologies and handle things in different ways. Most are the same but there’s some argument over whether the wolf is responsible for the man or vice versa. Our position is somewhere in between. One influences the other but, when one side is out of balance, like when someone embraces the wolf more than the man, it leads to problems in both lives.”

  “And Elias was out of balance?”

  “The shift is voluntary to a degree. We don’t need full moons, though some believe there’s a biological cycle that’s roughly equivalent to lunar cycles, telling you when the best days for shifting are. I call bullshit on that one. I never noticed one better day over another, personally. But you’ve got to do it. It’s… How do I explain it? It’s an itch you got to scratch, some more often than others. If you don’t listen to what your body’s trying to tell you, if you don’t shift enough, you get physical symptoms. Migraines. Muscle spasms. Vomiting. Hallucinations. You can’t not shift, as hard as some of them try. That’s what the barbs are for. Suppresses the urge, deadens that half. It’s like a self-lobotomy. That’s why, even though BSI limits how and when we can shift, they can’t outright forbid it. It would eventually kill us.”

  “Wow,” I said. I’d always assumed… I don’t know what I assumed. I guess I really didn’t think about it. I cleared my throat. “So, you knew him pretty well. Any idea who might have wanted him dead?”

  Sal shook his head and turned back to the stove. “He had enemies, but he was more of an annoyance to most people than anyone they'd go out of their way to kill. Elias existed on the fringe of things, trotting in occasionally to cause trouble or try for attention, depending on what mood suited him. These last few weeks, he got distant. Valentino was worried he might be using again and stepped up the drug testing. I tried to talk to him, but he wasn't interested. To me, he seemed distant but happy, so I didn't push.”

  I thought about that a minute while Sal dumped a few cups of water and broth in the pot and turned it on. “Was Elias in a relationship? Maybe with someone named Maria?”

  Sal shrugged. “I don't think so. I mean, I never saw him hanging out with women. But, like I said, toward the end, he wasn't interested in confiding in me. Maybe he found religion.”

  “What makes you say that?”

  “There's a priest here on the rez, Gideon Reed. I saw Elias talking to him a couple of days ago. When he saw me watching them talk, he abruptly ended the conversation and walked away as if it had never happened.”

  Sal opened a container from the fridge, lard or vegetable oil, and dumped some into a pan to heat. Then, he went back to the dough mixture, spreading it into thin disks.

  I filed the name of the priest away mentally. “I see. Anything else you can tell me about Elias?”

  “Little things. Nothing useful, probably.” He stole a casual glance back at me. “Any idea how he went?”

  “Someone killed him. Someone with access to magick and possibly someone with medical knowledge, given the precision of the cut,” I said.

  Sal had been a combat medic, which meant he had some handle on medical terminology. I could have repeated what Doc had told me and he probably would have understood what I meant, but that description wouldn't answer the question of how he'd died. Besides, I wanted to see how he reacted when I brought that topic up.

  Without missing a beat, Sal said, “Not well, then. Dammit. Does Valentino know?”

  “No. And he isn't being helpful, not letting me search his place.”

  Sal started dropping his dough into the grease to fry it up. “Elias left a few things here if you want to look at them. I'm not sure how helpful that's going to be.”

  “I will,” I said. Then, I added, “Just to clear the air, I know you're a powerful practitioner of magick. You were also an army medic. The more I find out about you, the more you fit the profile of my killer.”

  “That's why I wanted to help. Not that it's making you trust me any. I'm still your number one suspect, then?”

  “I haven't crossed you off my suspect list,” I said, trying to sound official. “Exactly what kind of magick do you do?”

  He didn't turn away from his cooking, but I knew he was smiling or, at least, smirking by the way he said, “Is that so? I thought I was doing a pretty good job of not looking like a magick wielding bad guy. I mean, I got rid of the neon sign above my head and everything.”

  He pulled the bread he was frying out of the pan, grabbed a jar from the cupboard, and brought both over to me. When he opened the jar and placed it in front of me, I saw that it was honey with the comb still inside. I hadn't realized how hungry I was until he put the food down in front of me. Still, I didn't touch it until he urged me to try it, dipping the bread into the honey.

  I've tasted a lot of sweets. Most of them were overpowering to the point I can't finish them. This, whatever it was, was that perfectly unhealthy mix of fried and sweet. It was like eating a less processed version of the best doughnut ever.

  “My mom's recipe,” Sal was saying. He'd gone back over to the stove to drop another one in the oil. “Chanter's is okay, but Mom's... No one could make frybread like Mom.”

  I almost agreed with him until I remembered that I'd asked him a question. “So, what kind of magick do you do?”

  I could tell he was hoping I'd forget about it by the way his posture changed. “You mean aside from shifting into a big wolf with anger issues? Not anything dark, I promise. I think you're giving me too much credit, honestly. Powerful isn't the word I'd choose to describe what I do.”

  “What is it you do?”

  Sal pulled the next piece of fry bread from the skillet and turned off the oil. “It's easier if I show you.”

  He crossed the room in even, purposeful strides but didn't go to his chair. Instead, he came to stand behind me.

  I bristled and jerked away when he tried to put his hands on me.

  “Relax. I'm doing this to prove my innocence, remember?”

  I sat stiffly back up but refused to relax.

  He rested a hand on top of my head. “You're one hell of a contradiction, you know that? You put on this tough girl act and then flinch when a big, scary monster comes close. Are you really afraid of me?”

  “I don't trust you,” I growled back. “I don't know you.”

  “Then think of someone you do.”

  Mentally, I sifted through everyone I knew and everyone I'd known only to come up short. There wasn't a single person that I would have trusted with my life, nobody but me. Maternal instincts aside, Hunter wouldn't know what to do if something serious happened. He and I were apart more often than we were together, and he was always closed off to me, so distant. There had been a time when I trusted Alex blindly, but it had backfired. Now, he was dead, and I was alone. I wasn't sure I would know what to do if that changed.

  I was all I had. I was the only person in the entire world that I knew I could rely on. When I phrased it like that, it sounded pretty damn depressing.

  No, not depressing, I thought. It's empowering. How many women out there are victims because they can't trust themselves? How many constantly live in a state of fear? How many put forward a fake identity when they're really sad and empty inside? I don't have to do that. I know exactly who I am and what I want. If that's wrong, then society can kiss my ass.
/>   “That'll work,” said Sal quietly from behind me. “Hold that thought.”

  And I did.

  It's a strange realization, how powerful confidence can be. All day, everyone had doubted me and forced me to prove them wrong. Most of the time, I had. When I couldn't, I found a way to make it seem as if I had. I rolled around in my mind the satisfaction that I felt at proving Tindall wrong, at being able to fix my own car, even though Sal had offered, and I held onto it tightly.

  As I did, the room around me changed. The colors brightened. The hard lines of the tile in the kitchen sharpened. Even the temperature changed, going from balmy to cool and comfortable. I watched without understanding as the second hand of a clock across the room slowed its trek around the circle. Almost as a side effect, the dull throbbing I'd had all day behind my eyes finally slipped away. The ache in the back of my head from where I'd fallen faded. Even the gnawing hunger in my belly eased up. It all happened quickly, in the space of a few deep breaths.

  When he took his hands away, everything returned to normal. The only difference I felt was the lack of my aches and pains.

  I turned around in my chair to face him, but he quietly walked across the room to stir his pot, seemingly lost in a distant thought.

  “You're a healer.”

  “In order to build something, you first have to know how to take it apart.” His voice was dark and distant, deeper in some way. If I had doubted before that Sal had taken lives, I did no longer. I didn't need any extra senses to know guilt when I saw it. “I began my practice doing other things. Hurting people. I was young and angry, lost in the intoxication of the Change. I wasn't a murderer, Judah. I never seek out death. It just follows me around.”

  “That's not exactly exonerating testimony, Sal.”

  “True,” he said, chuckling. “But just because you can kill with magick doesn't mean you do. You're a cop. You carry a gun. Hell, you probably have it on you right now, and I'd be willing to bet you load it with silver and iron. If you wanted to, you could whip it out right now and blow me away. You could have done it earlier. But you didn't. Why?”